This got me to thinking about being pregnant again, and the fear that would come along with it. I can't go on forever, and not try to conceive a health little bundle of joy. But I do understand I must heal emotionally first. I still feel sad, but the crying has faded as God's strength had sprinkled in. I know there is a plan, and nothing happens with out reason. My husband feels that we need to try immediately again, he feels as though it is the only way to heal completely, but I don't think he understands completely what exactly happened. For some reason I think he didn't grasp being a father, despite his excitement I feel he wouldn't had really grasped the concept until he was holding his baby. I'm not something he can help, and he's not a bad person for this, he's been nothing but supportive this whole time, but I feel maybe as much as I want him to understand, he never truly will.
until next time
*hug*
ReplyDeleteI'm sure your body and your heart have a great deal of healing to do. I'm so sorry. Let me know if you ever wanna meet for coffee or something. :)
Mmm, hugs to you. have you checked out the site: www.aplacetoremember.com ? They were started in St. Paul, MN by a dad whose wife lost a baby. They have since expanded and have a wonderful selection of books, reflection items, mementos etc to help you thru the loss. You may find a wonderful resource there to help you on the journey that the Lord has set you out on. Hugs and prayers.
ReplyDeleteThank you Toni, I will surely be taking you up on that offer soon, as soon as we get settled in the new to us house :)
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you Mellissa for the site, it had really helped alot reading through others experiences. I actually picked up an idea off there where someone took a pink clip board, and took momentos and pinned them on there, kind of like a scrap book, and hung it up. i made one, and hung it in my office. These things have really helped.
I've had to separate remembering and dwelling, if that makes any sense